currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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