ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
