I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Dear god my vagina.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize