party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
