upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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