I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize