So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
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She's just so happy...and so naked.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
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If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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