my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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