Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
