too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Randomize
