Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize