I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
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