There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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