no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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