this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Randomize