that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
