mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
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she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
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The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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