Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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