I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
