Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
