$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
