she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Randomize
