Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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