So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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