Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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