You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Randomize
