belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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