wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
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