So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
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I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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