its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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