How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize