so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
