my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
