is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
