I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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