We should be called the Road Head Warriors
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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