there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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