I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize