My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
