Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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