We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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