why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Randomize