When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
