How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize