Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
