Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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