Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
