Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Randomize
