hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
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I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
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Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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