But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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