I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
