"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
