your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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