so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
