fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize