I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
one might say we're banned from that church
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I think I sprained my soul last night
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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