Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
