She said her name was "party"
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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