We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Randomize
